Oh, what a day!

Dentist and the chiropractor.

I am beat up.

The chiropractor cracks you like bubble wrap. The dentist prods, pokes and drills.

Both send you out the door upright, but temporarily wounded.

The cure?

Ice cream.

It doesn’t ask about your posture or your flossing habits. It numbs sore jaws, avoids chewing, soothes bruised bones and comes in flavors way more appealing than ibuprofen.

A spoonful is cheaper than therapy.

After a day of professional poking and prodding, the only prescription worth filling is a pint of ice cream.

Survival guaranteed.