When life is going well, that creeping fear that something bad is around the corner is not just superstition.

After a deep dive I discovered that it is a mix of brain wiring, past experience and the anxious noise of the world around us.

Our brains are built for survival, not happiness. They scan for threats, not sunshine. So when things feel good, the mind instinctively wonders, “How long can this last?” Add to that a natural fear of loss because losing something dear hurts more than never having experienced it.

Past disappointments reinforce the pattern. If you have ever had the rug pulled out from under you, your brain keeps the file open, ready to protect you next time. That becomes “Don’t enjoy this too much.”

Culturally, we are taught to downplay joy, “Don’t jinx it!” and brace for bad news. Queen E. drilled that philosophy into me.

In today’s world where the background hum is climate chaos, immense political division, Agent Orange ranting multiple times a day, fear of flying, homegrown terrorism, gun violence and economic instability, even personal happiness feels like a fragile, borrowed thing.

But here’s the truth. It is okay to enjoy the good. You don’t have to pre-grieve the loss of joy to feel worthy of having it.

That is my mantra this past weekend.

The weather was perfection, the pool was warm and pristine, welcoming my deluge of laps with shimmering blue water.

My husband and I are still happily married. We enjoyed exercising together, puttering around our new home and barbecuing on multiple beautiful evenings.

My daughter was having an amazing time in Las Vegas with friends, rocking out and voraciously wahooing to the Backstreet Boys at the Sphere.

I am feeling so fortunate and serene.

Thats scared the crap out of me!

I am attempting to name the fear. Acknowledge it. Then come back to reality. The clouds may come, but so what? Right now, there is sunshine.

I am hesitantly allowing myself to enjoy the moment especially before football season commences and the NY Giants break my heart, yet again…yes, it is quite difficult to break away from past disappointments.

Can you relate?! Are many of us guilty of whispering our joys and screaming our fears because joy feels vulnerable?

Can we collectively create a diuretic to rid our systems of fear, negativity and apprehension? 😎