The Monkey Bar. Where Burgers Shine and Servers Sulk.

The Monkey Bar is a place that dares you to hold two opposing thoughts in your head at once: “This burger is excellent” and “Why did I order anything else?”

Founded in the 1930s, Monkey Bar has changed hands a few times over the years.

The red leather booths and impressive Jazz Age mural remains.

The latest iteration is run by the team behind 4 Charles and Au Cheval so rest assured, the hamburger is a must ($27.99).

Let’s give credit where it is due. The hamburger is genuinely good. Juicy, balanced, the kind of burger that reminds you why the dish is a classic. The burger consists of two prime beef patties, onions, pickles American cheese and a Dijonnaise sauce.

The Pommes Frites pull their weight too…crisp, golden, the reliable wingman to the star of the show ($13.99).

The room itself has charm, with an ambiance that whispers old New York enhanced by dark wood, flattering lighting, a place where you could imagine swapping gossip with literary ghosts which has been going on since 1936.

And then the wheels come off.

We kicked lunch off with a tasty order of Crispy Potato Pancakes served with apple sauce and sour cream ($18.99).

By the way, apparently saying the word crispy is a no no around our hideous server dressed like a member of the NY Philharmonic Orchestra. She put on her vomit face and commented, “Crispy?! Do you mean well done as green foam dripped from her poisonous thin lips.

Back to our selections. The Wedge Salad was mediocre at best, a sad iceberg sampling with bacon so greasy it could have powered a 1976 Chevy and an avalanche of dill, hard boiled eggs and Gorgonzola cheese with an ample side of ranch dressing ($27.99).

The server, meanwhile, seemed to have wandered in from another industry entirely. Hospitality? Not so much.

When we asked for a new water glass I thought we needed to call 911 as she displayed extreme signs of passing a kidney stone which turned out to be a reflection of her disgruntled personality.

The charming British manager and two other lovely women took over and turned the tumultuous tide from Debbie Downer.

The Monkey Bar is a paradox. Excellent burgers in a lovely room, served with a side of indifference and a salad best left on the cutting room floor.

Would I return? For the burger, absolutely. For the server? Only if they install one of those self-service kiosks. At least a touch screen wouldn’t scowl at me.

The sweetest part of the meal was spending  time with two amazing young, successful and beautiful women.

With the future of this country appearing quite grim, experiencing Ladies Who Lunch with these socially conscientious, intelligent women instills hope.

Monkey Bar 60 East 54th Street in the Hotel Elysee New York City. Open for lunch Monday-Friday 11:45am-2:30pm. Dinner Tuesday-Saturday 5-10:30pm, Sunday and Monday 5-10pm. Brunch Saturday and Sunday 11:45am-2:30pm. Reservations on Resy.