Foodie.

Foodie may be the most obnoxious term since someone spewed the moniker, life coach.

A self appointed title, Foodie is exempt from school affiliation, no exam required, no sacred vow sworn over a ramekin of crème brûlée.

Apparently, all it takes is three Instagram shots of avocado toast with the correct iPhone lighting and the ability to pretentiously mention your desire for a foraged, bespoke, artisanal dish garnished with foam all spoken with a straight face.

If there were a Foodie Academy, I would have flunked out in the first semester. I can barely pretend to get all hot and bothered over foam.

I once paid $68 for something called deconstructed lasagna that looked suspiciously like pasta I dropped on the floor.

Let’s discuss the levels of expertise.

There is the beginner Foodie who thinks mentioning farm to table counts as conversation. Then the mid-tier enthusiast who casually drops the chef’s name like it is a password to an exclusive club. Lastly, there are the apostles of gastronomy who travel internationally just to eat one microscopic seared scallop with a dollop of caviar presented on a rock salvaged from the Dead Sea and adorned with gold, ranked in the Top 5 of Best Restaurants In The World.

Is Foodie just another way of saying an attention whore with a popular Tik Tok and Instagram account who does constant drive bys of the new and trendy restaurants and really does not recognize superb cuisine? Probably.

I have been eating my whole life and reviewing restaurants for more than a decade, but I have never regurgitated that word as I would need a palate cleanser to remove the bad taste.

Eat, savor and enjoy. Take photos, but no labels.

Pethaps I might suggest commenting as a hungry human with opinions who enjoys dining out.