Friendship, in theory, is one of life’s great blessings. In practice, it can also feel like an uninspired part-time job with no dental or medical benefits.

We are told friendship is about loyalty, laughter, shared history, the tough love answer to the question, “Do I look fat?” and the sacred pact to tell each other when there is spinach in our teeth.

But let’s be honest. Friendship also requires effort. Planning. Showing up. Listening to stories about someone’s pickleball injury in forensic detail. Pretending to remember the name of their doggie and listening to how amazing their offspring and grandkids are for the 100th time, without becoming bored and pissed off.

Then there are the friends who are easy…no maintenance required. You can go months without speaking and pick up instantaneously. These are treasures. Keep them. Water them occasionally.

Then there are the friendships that feel… negotiable. The ones where you leave lunch slightly depleted. Where the conversation is less tennis match and more solo monologue. Where “How are you?” is merely a runway for their next takeoff. Dealing politely with those volatile bipolar acquaintances who get angry and hurtful for no apparent reason.

Which brings us to the question: is friendship always worth the effort?

Mostly, yes and no.

Real friendship is reciprocal. It is mutual curiosity, remembering someone’s big life events or checking in after a medical appointment. Sending a simple text which takes 5 seconds of precious time to let them know you are thinking of them.

It is celebrating wins without envy and being present in the uncomfortable stuff without rushing to fix it. It is effort, but shared effort. Being there in dire situations.

At this stage of life, time feels more precious. We crave depth over volume. A few friends who know your history, your irrational fears about flying and get you, that is gold.

And sometimes, it is okay to let certain friendships drift. Not with drama. Not with an unfollow spree. Just with acknowledgment that seasons change. Some people are lifelong companions. Others were perfect for Chapter Three but not necessarily for the sequel.

Friendship, at its best, is not obligation. It is oxygen. It should leave you lighter, not heavier. Energized, not audited.

So yes, some friendships are worth the effort.

Just make sure the effort goes both ways. If not, dump the bitch.

Besties for life…