Response to barely sunrise email…”Let me know when this happens!”

Is this woman hearing impaired?

The notification was sent after her dogs barked for 1 hour commencing at 6am following a wake up call the night before at 11pm.

Are you kidding me? She lives in a 450 square foot house. How does she not hear her dogs who actually bark constantly.

Obviously, this bitch and I am not referring to her dogs, does not give a damn.

Ah, suburbia. The land of freshly mowed lawns, welcome mats, porch lights and cul-de-sacs where we all wave politely and pretend we don’t hear each other yelling through the windows.

But lately, there’s been another voice echoing across the neighborhood.

Two frustrated canines. Repeatedly. At 6am. And again at 11pm. And sometimes for a solid 47 minutes mid-afternoon.

What is clear is that these dogs have some unrealized feelings. Deep, vocal, unfiltered feelings. Feelings about air. Feelings about nothing happening and the injustice of being left outside with no audience or enrichment.

We love dogs. They are a part of the fabric of life.

But here is the thing. I walk my doggie. I pay attention to her.

We assume, perhaps naively, that once your dog starts barking like a caffeinated lunatic at the breeze, you will hear it and intervene. Yet, there it is…bark bark bark bark bark. On and on, while the rest of us begin to wonder: Are you home? Are you okay? Do you not hear it?

It is not just annoying. It is inconsiderate. It is loud, it is persistent, and it turns your doggies into an accidental neighborhood menace.

And we know what your dog really wants. Not to torture us. Not to vocalize his place in the existential hierarchy of backyard creatures. No, he just wants you. He wants a walk. He wants a ball. He wants to sniff a hedge and contemplate the deep mysteries of deer poop.

He’s not being bad. He is being neglected emotionally, socially, possibly spiritually. And in those moments, his need for attention echoes across lawns and driveways.

So, we ask, kindly check in. Listen. And if you need a break, that’s okay. Hire a dog walker, toss a peanut butter Kong into the mix. But please, please do not pretend it is not happening.

Because when your dogs are out there doing their full-throated TED Talk on loneliness at 6:12am the rest of us are involved, involuntarily!