I miss when the most alarming thing I read before breakfast was that coffee was bad for me.

Yesterday, I turned on the TV at 6am and found the Nobel Peace Prize wannabe discussing American cities as though he is deciding if he should leave the patio furniture out in a heavy rainstorm.

At Monday’s Nebraska rally, while discussing the Iran war, Trump said: “Let ’em take out Los Angeles, let ’em take out San Diego. This is a very small price to pay.”

California has its problems. Traffic. Housing prices. People who describe consuming organic shredded vegetables as a religious experience, but I had not realized the federal response included potentially losing San Diego and Los Angeles.

Gavin Newsom called Trump “deranged and dangerous.” Personally, I thought that showed restraint. I have used stronger language over losing a parking space.

The White House subsequently explained that trump meant he was preventing Iran from acquiring the ability to attack American cities.

Fine. Then say that…we are protecting Los Angeles and let ’em take out Los Angeles communicates distinctly different things, particularly if you are living in Los Angeles.

I am exhausted by the presidential translation service. We hear the words, someone explains that he meant other words and somehow the problem is our listening skills.

I occasionally walk into a room and forget why I am there yet I still generally manage to finish a sentence without making a major metropolitan area sound expendable.

Besides, a small price to pay is such a comfortable expression when somebody else gets the invoice.

I do have a compromise.

Take out Mar-a-Lago…literally. Give the neighbors a break from the motorcades, road closures, tacky gold accoutrement and traffic congestion.

It is a small price to pay, Donald, for peace of mind in this great country. For once, a majority of Americans may actually be delighted by what you have to say.