Marriage.

Every day is a new experience.

Yesterday, I came very close to disavowing my vows.

Here is the back story.

I set the coffee maker to brew at 5:30am daily.

My husband walks the dog in the early morning and I fortify him with his first cup of coffee and essential vitamins to guarantee sound mind and body.

I presented the coffee on a coaster and for some reason told him to be careful.

I returned to the kitchen to grab my cup of joe before sliding back into bed to catch, Morning Joe.

I heard a yelp from the bedroom and knew something bad had transpired.

Then the words you do not want to hear besides I am having a heart attack or I have a fatal disease…grab towels now, lots of them, echoed throughout the house.

My pulse rate increased as I grabbed the roll of paper towels and cleaning cloths.

As with the Yankee season, the situation on the field was much worse than anticipated.

Coffee rolled over the pine colored wood floors, coffee dripped from the newly painted walls, the beautiful new end table glistened with mocha magic. BUT, the worst of all was the brand new custom made fabric bed that I had waited four long months for delivery now was navy white and mocha.

Tears formed as I began the blotting and wiping process.

Thankfully, even at 6am I had an able assistant who jumped into action…you know I am not referring to the male in attendance.

Let me just state that if another human had not been present, a life terminating act may well have ensued. With all the pent up frustration I would have attempted to drag the adult male body through the house and deposited it in the swimming pool then called 911 to frantically report an accidental drowning.

Lucky for him, there was a witness present.

Here’s a thought. Whenever there is an accident involving blood, coffee and food stains which has been perpetuated by said male, why is it that the only person adept and also responsible for clean up on linens, furniture and clothing is the female.

Is that part of the estrogen component or just learned behavior by the smarter sex?

Talk amongst yourselves.