Sparking?!

I was watching, In The City yesterday, mostly because my amazing TV agent daughter sold the show to Bravo.

I was fascinated when one of the guys (a real ass wipe) announced to his lovely girlfriend, with great concern, that they may have lost the spark after a year together

The spark.

Apparently this was treated as a shocking development.

I thought it was a reality show.

What exactly was he expecting? To maintain the same level of romantic electricity they had on date number three until one of them spontaneously combusted?

News flash…relationships are not Fourth of July fireworks.

If they were, every marriage in America would earn a regular visit from the fire department.

The spark is wonderful in the beginning. It is nature’s way of tricking two otherwise rational adults into believing that another human being, who is chewing loudly, is adorable.

A few years later, that same chewing can trigger thoughts that would concern a therapist.

That’s not failure. That’s Tuesday.

The reality is that long-term relationships evolve.

The spark becomes something deeper.

It becomes knowing exactly how your partner takes their coffee.

It is putting up with his sisters who make Cinderella’s stepsisters look swell.

It becomes sitting in comfortable silence while watching television.

Romance matures.

Or, in some cases, simply becomes less cardio-intensive.

What these reality stars seem to want is permanent butterflies.

At my age, if something is fluttering around in my stomach, I’m more concerned about whether I ate expired mayonnaise or I have an aneurysm.

Relationships are not supposed to feel like a first date forever.

If they did, we would spend decades pretending to enjoy each other’s stories and laughing too hard at mediocre jokes…exhausting.

Give me comfort.

Give me loyalty.

Dependability.

Attentiveness.

Kindness.

A supportive partner and parent.

Financial security.

Good health. I do draw the line at an overabundance of stomach and bad posture. I pledge to maintain perky breasts and a tight tush.

Give me someone who remembers to pick up dog food and plans a phenomenal birthday celebration.

And if there’s a spark left after years together, fantastic. Just not enough to start a wildfire. I already experience outrageous sparks during the Southern California inferno.

And a word to Kenny, the misogynist on, In The City.

If you find the right person and they are not a dick like you, the spark will always be there.

Today, is our 40 plus wedding anniversary.

Happy Anniversary, Sparky. Shockingly, I love you more than the NY Giants.

Spark On…